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I Wrote a Love Letter to Myself

From my very childhood, I was not much confident about myself. I still get anxious about my looks and how people look at me. So, every comment people used to make, made me feel vulnerable and anxious. I had a great self doubt.

Soon when I reached my teenage, I decided that I should work on my skills to gain some confidence. Now, though I’m still anxious, I don’t feel sad or angry when people comment on me. But sometimes it does affect me and I pat my own back.

A few days ago, I read a post somewhere about writing a love letter to yourself. It’s quite like pointing out things that you’re grateful about yourself but with a bit more intensity.

I did not love myself when I was in my pre-teens. I did not feel comfortable in my body because I got bullied for being skinny. I did not see my beauty in the mirror and often I used to cry myself to sleep.

But after I read that post, I decided to pull out my journal and write myself a love letter like I am someone else.

Photo by Bich Tran on Pexels.com

I did not know before that if I actually loved myself. I thought I’d hardly be able to write anything good about me. But when I put my pen to the paper, I went on and on. Writing made it easier to make me realise that I am loved, and most of all, loved by me.

I wrote one and a half page and stopped. I never saw myself as this beautiful person in the mirror. But deep inside somewhere I knew that I’m worth of all the beauty, that I’m worth of love. Writing was always a therapy to me, but to write about myself and how much I love myself is a cherry on the cake.

And now when I look in the mirror, at myself, I no longer see a failure, but a person, a human being, who deserves all the love in the world.

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How I Actually Convinced Someone To Read a Book

I am a great fan of books myself, or just reading. Be it newspapers, articles, or books, I am up for reading them. I’m brought up in a family that loves to read and that may come naturally. But my sister is more like a fan of watching movies, and less of books.

Not everyone likes to read because from our childhood we’re told, even forced, to study, which eventually takes away our urge to read. But being a big sister who likes to read, and having almost no one to discuss my theories with (because I don’t think discussing them with my parents is a good idea), this doesn’t feel good.

Initially, I thought I was being selfish, and not everyone needs to like reading. But reading is a good habit and a great hobby for personal development. When you are lonely, books always come to your rescue.

I started pestering her to read my favourite books. Of course it didn’t work maybe because we have a big age gap. So I started to search what girls her age like to read. She seemed to like reading the book a lot.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com

It is a long process of getting into the world of reading and actually enjoy it. And we must all stay patient.

I chose a book with reasonable length for her. Because someone who just starts reading would never want to read a book of 500 pages. Also the book cover needs to be appealing. Yes, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” is not that true for books.

Choose books for them according to what their age and their taste is. If they are a teenager, they might love the books of young adult genre. If they are facing some life problems, gift them a self-help book and they will love you for life!

Some of the most popular books according to Goodreads are:

  • ‘The Great Gatsby’ by F. Scott Fitzgerald
  • ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ by Harper Lee
  • ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’ by J.K. Rowling
  • ‘1984’ by George Orwell
  • ‘The Catcher in the Rye’ by J.D. Salinger
  • ‘The Hobbit’ by J.R.R. Tolkien
  • ‘Fahrenheit 451’ by Ray Bradbury
  • ‘Pride and Prejudice’ by Jane Austen
  • ‘Animal Farm’ by George Orwell

Bonus Tip

Harry Potter is a widely loved series and is read by people of all ages. Most of the people (specially children) love Harry Potter, so you can definitely start with this.

Now that she’s done reading the book I chose for her, I need to find more. Please feel free to drop suggestions of books a 12-13 year old girl will like. And for any questions comment below!

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Don’t Celebrate Women’s Day

International Women’s Day is celebrated every year on the 8th of March. It mainly talks about women’s rights. It is a day of global celebration that calls for gender equality.

The idea behind this special day for women came to a lady named Clara Zetkin, in 1910 when she was at an International Conference of Working Women, in Copenhagen. However, this day was made official when the United Nations started to celebrate it in 1975.

Why is Women’s Day celebrated?

Women have always been at the receiving end of gender discrimination. They have been declined basic human rights and treated as the inferior gender. Women’s Day was started by a group of women garment makers who were paid much less than what they worked for. They were even deprived of their voting rights.

Therefore, to fight against this discrimination, in 1910, an international conference for women was held. It was decided that every year, a day will be kept for women to talk about their rights and to recognise the great achievements of women.

However, women can still relate to most of these issues even after a century of years after the formation of the International Women’s Day.

But don’t celebrate Women’s Day for the sake of it.

Don’t celebrate Women’s Day if:

  • You catcall every girl you see, and then blame it on their dress. “She wore this tiny skirt. What am I supposed to do?”. Buy a burkha. For yourself.
  • You circulate misogynistic jokes and laugh at those to feed your own male ego.
  • You believe women belong to the kitchen.
  • You blame a woman when she’s raped or harassed; and you blame it on them being out at night, on their clothes, hairstyle, personality, existence.
  • You judge a woman for the amount of makeup and the kind of dresses they wear.
  • You treat women as an object.
  • You make sexist remarks or do not speak up when others do.
  • You ask for proof when women (or men) are raped.
  • You tell a woman how she should walk, talk, laugh, sit.
  • You think menstruation is disgusting.
  • You believe women are to be judged based on their virginity.
  • You think women are child-bearing machines.
  • You slutshame your ex-girlfriend (or any woman).
  • You are an anti-feminist.
  • You worship women on a specific day and belittle them on the rest 364 days.

Celebrating Women’s Day does not mean you respect women. Infact, it means nothing.

Before you share women’s day quotes, remind yourself of all the violence done against women.

According to the World Population Review, South Africa has the highest rate of rape (of about 132.4 per 100,000 citizens). It is mentioned in a post by the same website and I quote, “The United States has a rape rate of 27.3. As in many other countries, rape is grossly underreported in the United States due to victim shaming, fear of reprisal, fear of family knowing, cases not being taken seriously by law enforcement, and possible lack of prosecution for the perpetrator. Only 9% of rapists in the US get prosecuted and only 3% of rapists will spend a day in prison. 97% of rapists in the United States will walk free.”

We still need more years, or even decades, to see women empowerment and gender equality come into existence. One day a year is not enough for people to change. It won’t happen overnight, and to help people broaden up their minds, they need to be educated and made aware of the danger of gender discrimination.

So, before you type “Happy Women’s Day”, ask the women if they are happy today.

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How to Deal With Anger and Mood Swings

After three days of fever and two more days of cough and cold, when my health was finally getting better, I found myself getting more angry and irritated by small things around. I blame it on my bad health and loss of enough sleep, or just side effects of medicines.

But these mood swings come to visit us once in a while, mostly, in women. Mood swings mainly occur:

  • For premenstrual syndrome (PMS)
  • For hormonal imbalance
  • For poor health conditions
  • For common triggers like stress, sleeping habits, diet, and medications
  • During puberty
  • During pregnancy
  • Around the time of your menopause

Mood swings often cause from the smallest of things that, most probably, won’t bother you when you are happy. They might not even look like problems, but when they keeps happening to us, we lose our temper, and anger issues begin.

Source: Google

This reminds me of the “Chinese Water Torture”. According to Wikipedia, “Chinese water torture is a painful process in which cold water is slowly dripped onto the scalp, forehead or face for a prolonged period of time allegedly making the restrained victim insane.” Now, this may seem totally fine in theory, but when you’ll actually try it, it’s really stressing if done for a prolonged time.

It is thus clear, that people all over the world have to face these anger issues one time or the other. And it’s normal for everyone to face mood swings once in a while. And it is important for one to visit a doctor if they think their anger issues are crossing limits.

Now that we understood why these mood swings occur, we might as well try to tone them down a bit. To deal with your anger issues and mood swings, read on:

  1. Have a healthy diet. Diet plays an important role in our physical health, as well as mental health too. Eating healthy can increase the feel-good hormones in our body called serotonin, and also keeps your blood sugar stable.
  2. Have a good-night sleep. Sleeping relaxes our mind and helps our brain to rest after a long day of functioning. Loss of sleep often makes people grumpy and irritated.
  3. Exercise. Getting physical increases your muscle strength and reduces blood pressure, thus improving body’s ability to handle stress. Doing yoga, meditation, and massage also helps.
  4. Avoid stress. Stress is the main culprit behind these frequent mood swings. Avoiding stress is no easy work but practising meditation and self-love will help. Everytime you’re about to be stressed, or feel anxious, listen to some calm music and your stress will vanish.
  5. Avoid large amount of caffeine. Caffeine when taken in large amounts, may trigger your mood, and cause irritability, dizziness, and even rapid or irregular heartbeat.

However, these are when your mood swings are still bearable. Make sure to visit a doctor, for these situations can lead to serious life problems. These may lead to some serious mental, or even physical issues. Until then, put on your earphones, and let music bring all the happiness back in you.

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New Year Resolutions, and More

As we grow older, New Year starts to lose its shine. It feels like any other day, but a new day also means a new beginning as we tend to stress over how to begin it perfectly. This stress, however, ends up making our New Year a not-so-happy one.

With New Year, comes a lot of resolutions that most of us, well, we tend to forget. Needless to say, we start our year with so much enthusiasm and so much energy. We have high hopes at the beginning, but when nothing happens as we’ve hopes, our excitement falls down.

Our resolution of loving ourselves, of not getting too attached to people, of being productive, of losing/gaining weight, etc., etc, it all disappears in thin air. It’s not news, we all know it, and yet we won’t do anything about it. But we can always start with baby steps to let the enthusiasm last longer, and let the routine become a habit.

It’s weird how a whole year passes by so fast. Also, most of the people we start our year with are not the same ones we end our year with. This realisation is depressing, yet liberating.

Everything mentioned is about bettering our mental health. It’s important to treat this as we treat our physical health. It is always easier to say than to do it practically, but it always falls in place when we begin.

Photo by Eternal Happiness on Pexels.com

To begin, you may start with these:

  • Eat healthy.
  • Meditate.
  • Practice self-care.
  • Prioritise your sleep.
  • Exercise daily.
  • Take some time offline.
  • Spend some time with nature.
  • Practice gratitude

Happy New Year!

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End This Year on a Good Note, and Start New Year on a Better One

It’s already the last week of 2019, and we’re already homesick for this year. Looking back we see there was so much in this year. Excitement, heartbreaks, new friends, new enemies, endings and new beginnings, and so much more! I’m already getting flashbacks of all the things I’ve done, right or wrong, and I regret none of them.

If we sit with a notebook and start to make notes of what we did all year, it will take forever. There are so many things we did, and most of the times, if we thought those over, the only thing comes to our mind is, “I could do better than that”. But you were good enough, trust me. 🙂

With that comes another theory. Being good enough doesn’t mean we can’t do better, though. Just make a list of things you thought you could do better, and try to apply these next time. It’s already year end, and the next time means next year, with more power and more positivities.

Leaving all the negativities in 2019, let’s look forward on what simple things we can do to be a better person.

Photo by VisionPic .net on Pexels.com
  • Be grateful. Remember to remind yourself of all the things you’re grateful for.
  • Smile. Always smile to yourself or to any people you meet on the go. Smiling tricks your brain to thing you’re happy.
  • Be kind. Practice the act of kindness. It actually costs nothing to be a little kind to people, instead it makes us happy and feel content.
  • Eat right and sleep well. These are the fundamental things we need to keep constant in our daily life. They make you healthy, and thus happy. Include drinking more water, too.
  • Contribute to the nature. It’s obvious that our earth is in danger, and we’re at fault. We can do small things like stop using plastic, not to litter, be kind to other animals, plant some trees even if it’s in our backyard.
  • Forgive and forget. Another trick to be happy is to leave your past in the past. All the people who did wrong to you, revenge won’t teach them a lesson. Revenge should never be the answer. It will just make you unhappy. Remember to forgive people even if you can’t forget what they did.
  • This too shall pass. Everytime you are living a bad time of your life, remember to say this over and over in your head. No book is complete without some mishaps. Sometimes in future, you’ll look back to these memories and you’ll understand how they helped you grow and be better. Never skip these moments.
  • Love yourself. This is the most important thing to do for being a better person. One who doesn’t love themselves, can’t love anyone else. Prioritising yourself over others if never selfish.

Let’s stick to these for the whole of 2020 and one year later when you ask yourself, “Was I a good person”, you get the reply from inside of you, “No, I’m told that you were the best”. Not best of all the people, though, but the best of yourself.

Wish you a very Happy New Year!

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How to Stop your Mobile Addiction and be a Smart User of your Smart Phone

It’s not my first time quitting social media, but yes, this time all for it and I’m really enjoying this process.

I’m sure everyone of us have thought of quitting social media or trying to check our smart phone less frequently. Needless to say, most of us have failed at it.

Mobile addiction is not new nowadays, and is the root of so many problems in our lives. So, let’s find a way to put an end to it.

When we need to cure a disease, doctors first want to know the symptoms, and that what is it doing to you. To know the symptoms is very important to know the cause. And from the cause, we can get our medicine. Let’s walk the path to our freedom.

Photo by Adrianna Calvo on Pexels.com

Here are some of the ways your phone is doing to you:

  • Looking at your phone all day will cause eye strain.
  • As you do not change your posture, it may even cause neck pain.
  • It takes all our precious time, and making our lifespan smaller.
  • Scrolling through social media does not provide any knowledge, instead takes away all your energy. Don’t you feel tired after using your phone for a long time?
  • Looking at the light that the phone emits is very harmful for us. It even causes impaired sleep.
  • As we constantly keep looking at how people are so well-dressed, and well-maintained, it increases our anxiety levels. We constantly keep comparing our behind-the-scene images to those edited-photographs, which is no good for our mental health.

Now that we know what our smart phone is doing to us, we may proceed to what we can do to be a smart user. The answer is simple, we need to limit our use of smart phones. The process is not that simple, though. So, let’s discuss about what we can do to make this process easier.

Photo by Victor Freitas on Pexels.com

Now, let’s jot down the points we can do to be a smart-user:

  • The first process sounds easy, but is not. We, at first, need to understand that we are being overly dependent on our mobile phones. Instead of us operating them, they are operating us.
  • Turning off the push notifications help. If you can’t see what’s happening there in the web, you won’t be much eager to enter it.
  • Delete all the unnecessary apps from your phone.
  • Gradually decrease your time on your phone.
  • Install a time management app that tracks our daily mobile usage and that helps to block some apps to keep away distractions. For example, “YourHour”.
  • Find new hobbies. Look for things that interest you offline. Read that book that’s been pending for months. Draw that portrait you’ve always wanted to.
  • Keep a diary to write about the time you saved each day and record how you were productive each day.
  • Keep a complicated lock for your mobile phone, be it a complicated pattern or a long number.
  • Switch off your phone 1 hour prior to going to bed, and don’t use it right after you wake up.

Here, we have our symptoms and our medicine to fight the disease. What we have to do is just take the pills each day, less at first and then gradually increasing the numbers. Phone addiction is just like any other addictions, and thus you’ll need to be patient with it. Shift your focus towards the more beautiful scenes and watch your addiction run away. Good luck!